Description

Man: Not a great invention. Flawed? Certainly. Incompetent? Often. Drunk? As often as humanly possible (man note: "Thanks very much, when can we get started?") It's really no wonder that women the world over regularly tear their (extraordinarily well-kempt) hair out in frustration at their opposite sex's myriad failings. But now there is another way. Rejoice!

Control A Man is a remote control designed to iron out the slack, the forgetful and the downright un-toilet-trained, and render your bloke a thoughtful, sensitive and polite delight. Awash with options such as "get hint", "tell truth" and "chocolate", alongside the, frankly fantastical "multi-task", this little gizmo is designed to put the chuckle back into chores (and the force back into favours).

Other buttons include getting him to stop "snoring", "farting" and "belching", and to talk about "feelings", "shopping" and "shoes". But it's at this stage we'd like to point out an issue with the technical specs, as the latter are only 'on' buttons (unlike 'ego' which can only be switched off).

Now, we put it to the ladies out there that while a little chat here and there on the vagaries of shoe style and soft-furnishing styles might be appreciated, if your man were to suddenly start talking about high heels and blushing-peach hues from morning though to night, you'd swiftly become very concerned indeed. Well, we would.

So point and press at will, fair maidens, but be careful what you wish for...

NB: Batteries not included - powered by positive thinking.