Telepen

The pen that you always have to hand.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword, presumably that only applies if your opponent doesn’t actually have a sword, in which case I would have thought it was game over, however well you write. Against a sword the Telepen is missing a few vital qualities. For starters it’s really very small, which is great for your pocket, not so good for defence. Secondly it’s telescopic, so that it pulls out to the perfect size for writing, but when the time comes for the coup de grace lunge into your opponent, it just telescopes back in again, not a battle winner. Thirdly, this is the last one I promise, it screws neatly back into its top which is fastened to your key ring, great for carrying around and all that, but not too quick on the draw. You may have your head in your lap by the time you’ve unscrewed it to defend yourself. So, as a sword, really rubbish. As a pen that’s always to hand, pretty unbeatable.

Maybe I’m a bit of nerd, but above all other gadgets I have bristling from my key ring, this is undoubtedly the one I use the most, and I try to avoid getting into sword fights wherever possible.

The Telepen is tiny, but telescopes out to a good sized scribbler, is slim and unassuming on your key ring, and comes with three spare refills.